Ties that bind

I made three loaves of bread today.  It's become my ritual.  2-3 times a week I make another batch to get us through a few more days.  But, our flour reserve is running low and i'm unsure how much more I can make.  But, today I have three loaves.

It's something I'm actually enjoying.  As I pour the flour in the bowl, I'm always transported to my childhood.  Growing up, we didn't have much, but I remember my mom always making bread and I remember getting a warm slice and buttering it and putting some jam on it.  It was always a treat.  As I kneed the dough, I think of all the women who have come before me in my family who had to make bread for their kids when there weren't stores.  Whenever Grandpa Bud sees me pull out those loaves of bread he says, "Looks like you've been busy.  I don't know how you get it all done, everything you do.  Ya know, my mom always made bread when I was growing up.  We used to hang around the kitchen and wait for the bread to come out of the oven.  The lucky ones got the end of the loaf.  It was a bigger piece of bread you know.  My mamma was a small woman but she was hard as nails..."(every time, never fails)  It usually grates on my nerves hearing the same stories over and over, but today I just smiled.  I could see her in her kitchen with her wood burning stove, her apron safety pined to her shirt and flour in her mussed hair.  Her time worn hands doing what they've always known to do to keep her family well fed.

I feel like my life has come full circle.  Eight years ago we moved here to help out after Norma passed away.  We felt so strongly that this is where the Lord wanted and needed us in his vineyard.  I remember trying to convince grandpa that he really didn't need to wash and reuse every piece of foil and every plastic bag, there wasn't any shortage.  But, today I found myself washing and reusing 3 plastic ziplock bags to put the bread in the freezer.  I used to think he was crazy for doing stuff like that, but now I can see the wisdom in the old adage Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do or do without.

Well, baby #4 has finally relieved me of the constant nausea.  I think it helps that I started taking my prenatal vitamins at night along with an extra dose of vitamin B.  But, although physically I'm feeling better, my heart aches and I worry for the future.  Randall was laid off for the second time in two months at the beginning of November.  I love spending time with him, but I wish we could at least find answers to all the prayers.  Actually, I have a confession.  Today was the first time since Randall's layoff that I actually got on my knees and prayed.  I told Randall that I felt bitter, but I think it's more like I felt like "what's the point?".  I pray and he gets laid off, I pray and money stops, I pray and we eat beans and rice and even butter and milk are out of our price range.  So, I felt like it didn't do any good; like my words were falling on deaf ears.  So I stopped; no prayers, no worship, nothing.  Well, I say nothing, but I did participate in family scripture study and I helped my children say their prayers, but there wasn't anything personal going up to heaven from me.

But, this morning, I woke up to a quite house.  The first glow of day shining through my bedroom window and my first thought was we need a miracle.  And then I thought maybe all this has happened (baby #4, almost no food, no money....) in order for Him to prove to our family the He is a god of miracles.  That He is still there and does hear, but that maybe the answer is He is preparing us as a vehicle to perform miracles in the lives of my children and anyone that we may come in contact with over the next few years and throughout our lives.

On Sunday, all the talks in church were about enduring.  Not just enduring for a moment, but eternally and patiently.  And yes, I got it, loud and clear.  He was speaking directly to me.  I cried the whole time.  Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but I think not.  He touched my spirit; spoke directly to me through countless scriptures.  So, this morning, in the stillness, I prayed.  I prayed for this man I love, I prayed for my babies to be feed, I prayed for our direction to be made clear and I got up and went to work.  I did the dishes that I hadn't managed to get to in days, I swept the kitchen, got Grandpa Bud ready for his doctors appointment, made hot chocolate for my kids from the last dregs left from last Christmas and did what I could to show my Heavenly Father that I am grateful for what He has provided for us.  We still have a roof over our heads, central heat and air, beds for everyone with blankets to spare, dishes, soap, HOT water, flushing toilets, telephones, fridgerator, car, books to read, clothes, toys, some food storage- beans, wheat, tomatoes and green beans, and most importantly we have each other.

Family Food

Okay, so I've been really lame in the "staying on a food budget" category for awhile now. But in an effort to change my ways and have more money than month, I put together a weekly menu board for my fridge. See? I think it's prettiness will increase the likelihood that I'll actually use it...


So, I just printed it and I'm going to slip it into a sheet protector and then tape it on the fridge and then it will be easy to write on with dry erase markers. I'll fill in what I'm going to cook this week and then next week it will be easy to change (because I need change and variety in my life...). I'm also hoping that it will ease the "What's for dinner mom?(honey?)" question every night, too.

P.S.- You're free to download and use it, too! Happy cooking!

Too cool!

Every time that I've had a baby I've always held them I few minutes after birth and I am always amazed at how I could have created such an amazing little person. I'm literally speechless. Well, today I felt that feeling all over again when I finished another birthday cake for some of my Young Women. I put the finishing touches on it and every time I look at I think, "Wow! I can't believe I made that! It looks so completely cool!"
I saw this cake a little while ago and I thought, man that's awesome. I wish I had the talent to create that. I've been thinking about it ever since. I couldn't get it out of my mind. So, I decided to do a music/rock theme for two girls in yw that have birthdays a week apart. And this cake became my inspiration for my color scheme. I thought I would attempt the cake, but before I did, I read this whole series on making fabulous cakes. I used her recipe for fondant since every other time I used my recipe for butter cream fondant it was crap. And can I just say that I love the way it turned out; way easier to work with! So, after all that I jumped in. Monday I baked and froze the cakes and made the fondant. Tuesday I cut, filled, stacked and frosted the cakes. Today I put on the fondant and decorated the whole thing. Check it out! Jusst ignore the sink full of dishes that are about to spill on the floor in the background. Right after the photo shoot, I cleaned them all...

Boy Scouts

Did you know that in high school I was an honorary Boy Scout? I bet you didn't... Any way, I was asked to help the scouts with their bake sale fundraiser since our girls fundraiser went so well. I ended up having to work the day they put it all to together, so all I could do was the posters and candied popcorn balls. I made caramel corn too, but it didn't set up well. I don't think I cooked it long enough. So, the kids ate it.

In the kitchen...

Jenna: "What's for dinner?"

Me (shoving brownie in my mouth): "Broccoli Caffowo"

Jenna: "What?!? Broccoli Cat fart?"

Me (trying not to choke while laughing and swallowing): "No! Broccoli Cassarole!"

Jenna: "Oh. So, leftovers?"

Oi! I live with a tiny comedienne!

oh. wow.

  Well, i was wrong.  Jenna actually had a yeast infection that got infected.  At least that's how it was explained to me at the doctor's office today.  So hopefully in ten days it will all be cleared up.  And by the way, I found this cool site for creating your own menu.  I'm sure that there are others online elsewhere, but I found this one and thought it was so fun and neat.  It helps that i have watched Food Nanny many times before and i love her.  She's super cute.  Any way, i'm using this to organize myself a little bit better.

Crazy!...I know.

Okay, so yesterday was just a nutty day. I went clothes shopping. I usually can find really good deals and things that look totally awesome on me...but yesterday...not so much! I did find a $3 blouse for my business side of life, so that was good. I did not however find nice slacks or jacket for business which is the truly really reason I went in 4 separate stores in search of them. So, feeling a bit defeated, I took Jenna to Burger King and got drive through. Headed to Wal-Mart and parked in the parking lot to eat away my bummer day. Finished eating, got out of the van, locked the van, shut the door and double checked my purse for keys...triple checked for keys....quadruple checked for keys...NO KEYS. Looked back at car...keys dangling in the ignition......Augh! (that's me completely disgusted with myself). I must mention at this point that it's been about 2 years since I've done that so, I guess it was time. Luckily I did have my phone and wallet in my purse on my shoulder. I called Randall and we then arranged for our neighbors to watch the kids (I had all the car seats) so that Randall could come rescue me in the pick up truck...oh but wait, I had both spare keys to the truck with me! As it happened Debbie had an extra and he was able to come and save me after an hour of bumming around Wal-Mart after I checked out.

All that to say, I had the worst desire to create something that I know would be good and that I had complete control over once I got home. So, I made cupcakes (I know, right?). I make 24 and to date every single one are gone. Not by me thank goodness! I don't think my thighs could handle any more fat.... I took them to church where the youth often become my giunepigs for my creations. I had one left when I got home and Bud rushed in to devour it this morning. So, do you want to know what kind I made? I was intirely my own invention. Although i received inspiration from my newest book, 'Jam it, Pickle it, Cure it'. I made what will forever be known as:

Carmel Butter Pecan Cupcakes with a Salted Carmel Cream Cheese Frosting

Long name, right? Maybe I should name it CBPCSCCCF? (Wow. Flashbacks to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) It was really fun to put these together and I think I'll definitely be added these to the repertoire.

On saving...

From the moment I broke out on my own I have had a driving desire to save and be thrifty. And with our latest financial adjustments, it has only caused me to be this way in every aspect of my life. Case in point: When I was in college, I got my clothes for $0.25 each at the annual Women's Association yard sale on campus. Oh, and then the other day, we had used our coupons and gone out to eat while we were out in Destin. Randall didn't finish his lemonade, so I saved it. (but I forgot it in the car) The following day when we were out, Randall wanted to get a drink and I handed him the lemonade, not even thinking about it...He drank it and spat it everywhere and gave me a horrified look. So, see...the drive to be thrifty is becoming overwhelming!

So, I found this website...it helps me to feel like the thrifty goddess that I am. You see, it's the latest thing. It's called The Grocery Game. The first time I played along, I saved $42.00. This week I saved.......$124.44! Yeah me! Now I've got a freezer and pantry full of food and I'm getting my food storage beefed up...Who knows, maybe next week I'll save even more...

P.S. I Love You...

Garlicky Oven Fries...oh, how happy you have made me! I tried these babies out yesterday and they were soooo yummy. Try em and I'll bet you'll be addicted too! But, beware that the garlic will make the whole house smell like these puppies for hours on end. I had to light a candle to get rid of the lingering garlic...

Potato Patato

So, the other day I had this terrible craving for potatoes. But, not just any potato recipe would do. I wanted to make Crash Hot Potatoes. You see, when I want to make something I have this blog that I always turn to for inspiration. I found it about two years ago when I completely changed my lifestyle to avoid being put on medication for the rest of my life. I had symptoms that pointed the doctor to Crohn's. They wanted to run a series of tests, tests that I couldn't afford, just to make sure that's what it was. So, being the ever resourceful person that I am, I did some research and studying and decided to completely change my diet and go raw. It was amazing the difference. I finally was able to feel normal. I finally was living without the pain, which had at points gotten so severe that I was limited to my bed for long periods of time. (Not exactly where you want to be as a mother with two very young and active children.) I started the change with a body cleanse and then went raw and then vegan with 80% raw and 20% cooked food.

Vegan Yum Yum saved me from a world of monotony. A world of wonder and culinary success opened up to me. The stellar pictures sucked me in and then the easy recipes hooked me as a devoted reader and recipe tester. Nearly everything she has posted in the last year I has made its way into my heart and kitchen at some point. So, when she posted The Pioneer Woman's recipe for Crash Hot Potatoes, I knew I needed to make them. And I knew it again the other day when I was buzzing around the grocery store in my motorized shopping cart picking up food for this week. I grabbed some small potatoes and giggled with delight at the yumminess awaiting me and my family.

But, when I got home, I realized that I have half a bag of Yukon gold potatoes that need using up be for they go bad. So, I went online and got the recipe for the potatoes and I clicked on the pioneer woman's link in the post and fell in love again. I love everything about her website, from photos to recipes and I found a link to another blog that has me hooked as well. Lottie and Doof, she had a recipe for Garlicky Oven Fries that has won my vote for what to do with those other potatoes before they rot. Crispity, crunch. That's what I'm craving…