Fragile

I'm realizing that life is fragile.  You'd think that after 30 years, I would have realized this a little sooner.  But, I guess I take more than a little convincing sometimes.  The last few months have been a blur.  It's birthday season around here and that has caught my attention week after week.  I've made cake, lots of cake.  I've bought presents, lots of presents.  And the birthdays keep coming!  And let's not forget Easter, too!  But, I have been able to grab a few photos of our days.

Ashton's birthday was in February, but alas he doesn't really like to have his picture taken. So, I don't have many of that.  But, Shiloh on the other hand, is a camera ham!

Shiloh loved watching me put together her cake and wanted a growling dino picture with her cake when it was done.

Blowing out the candles is her favorite thing to do anytime or the year, month, day or night...

 At her birthday party, she got a fairy princess outfit.  As soon as all the presents were opened and the cake eaten, she came over and said, "Mom, can I pay outside?"  I said, "yes".  To which she said, "OK!  I need my wings, wand, crown and bracelets."  I caught this picture mid her fairy princess duties.

And I did manage to catch a few of my elusive son eating cake.  I think he looks sooo much like his uncle Nate in this picture it's a bit shocking!

Last weekend there was an Easter party with egg hunt at our little community center.  We got some pictures of the kids having fun playing games and waiting for the Easter bunny to hunt eggs.

But, in all these action packed days, I've been growing a baby.  One more little Curtis child to kiss and hold.  I've had good days and bad, but recently it seems there may be something wrong with my own body.  And getting news like that from a doctor forces you to reflect on life and what it's all about.  I've been having heart troubles and need to see a cardiologist to make sure i'm strong enough to deliver this baby on my own.  It's a little bit scary when you think about how fragile everything is.  It's given me a chance to make all the hugs and kisses for and from my kiddos last a little longer and mean a little more while I'm praying inside that things will be okay and people live with heart conditions for years and if there is something really wrong it doesn't mean it's the end.  It means it's the beginning.  It's the beginning of me finally letting others in.  Of letting those who care about me strengthen me and care for me while I can't do it on my own.