To say that these last six weeks have been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. But, what's more extreme than a roller coaster? A hurricane? A tsunami? I feel myself slipping into the deep end some days. I can't see how there could be a miracle coming out of all this. And feel like questioning what God's plan for me and my family is. We're standing at a crossroad, or maybe it's more like a fork. We have two very possible plans for the future. Job and house here, job and house there and everything hinges on being patient and waiting for someone else to make up their mind before we can follow through and put things into action. You see, we had decided to move to North Dakota. Randall can make double the pay he was making here and we could finally afford the house that we need for our family. And almost as soon as we decided that moving would be our best and only option, a job opportunity here popped up. And the pay is the similar to what he'd make there. So, he applied. It seems like he's a shoe in for it, but we have to wait for the man hiring to go through the applications and choose his candidates. Which could take a while as the job won't even start until January, so it's not it the urgent pile. So, we've mapped out on paper, what we'd do if we stay here and what we'd do should we be going elsewhere. And now, were just twiddling our thumbs waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.
Now, my hubs can attest to this, waiting for anything is not my forte. I hate waiting for even water to boil. So, my emotions run the gambit from day to day. I dream about "life A" and I dream about "life B" and I wonder what the Lord has instore for us. Either way, we'll be moving so I've been packing and praying and hoping that my body won't give out and land me on bed rest for weeks on end with this pregnancy. Yesterday I packed five boxes, did 3 loads of laundry and took out the trash and by lunch time I had searing pain in my belly and was down for the rest of the day. So, today is cleaning grandpa's bathroom and doing his laundry and I've enlisted 3 strong children to help with the work...See, I'm learning...I have to give it to them, they buckle down and get to work when it's time; which might be the only way I'm going to make it this time.
Through out the day, I've been praying for peace to enter my heart. Praying for the stress to melt away and what keeps echoing in my head is the quote "Come what may, and Love it!" So, right now I'm choosing to find joy in the moment. I can't control the future, no matter how much I wish that I could.
4 hours ago